Have you ever had a period of time where you just can't get out of a funk? That was me for the past couple of weeks. A perfect storm of things came together at once that left me overwhelmed. The car accident really shook me up, and left me on edge. My son was going through a period of acting out, changing from a sweet little boy to one who was willfully disobedient, talked back, and often lashed out physically. I was sure it was a phase (it's totally out of character) but it still really got to me. I seemed to be chronically tired, yet not able to sleep properly at night. I was getting constant headaches. It turned me into a mother that I did not want to be.
I yelled, I screamed, I went nuts over the slightest little thing. I even resorted to the occasional smack, even though I don't believe that smacking is the answer, and the look in my children's eyes made me feel so guilty. The house became a mess, and then the mess and clutter made me feel even more irritated.
Even though I didn't to want to be acting this way, I couldn't seem to stop. And then two things happened. Firstly, my son needed to be hospitalized after a severe asthma attack. Secondly, while I was at the hospital, I came across a post from Simple Mom, Where You Water It. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and the two together were the shake up/wake up call I needed. I needed to be all there for my kids and my family, regardless of the challenges going on. And I needed to remember that the grass isn't greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it.
So what did I do to water my grass? I went to the doctor for my headaches, who diagnosed muscle tension from the accident, and referred me to an excellent physio. I started taking short afternoon naps while hubbie watched the kids. Bach's Rescue Remedy got a good workout whenever I was feeling overwhelmed. I started using the oldie but goodie trick of counting to ten when the kids did something to aggravate me. I started on the house room by room, and we sat Stephen down and let him know that his behaviour was unacceptable and what the consequences would be if and when it occurred again.
I still have my moments, but in just a week, everything is looking a thousand times better, and you know what, my grass is looking greener after all.
PS: I know I don't usually write posts like this, but I felt I needed to share. It's often easy to read blogs, and see perfect lives with perfect children and perfect homes, since we bloggers are all human, and usually like to show just the "pinnable" stuff, but as we are all just human, our lives are so much more than that, both good and bad. This is but a small window into a tiny fragment of my life. But I hope that by sharing this not so shining moment, it may help someone else out there when they need either a spark of inspiration to get them back on track, or a moment of "I'm not the only one like this" to help them feel not so alone.